Owning Our Lives

When my wife and I bought our first home several years ago, there was some garbage in the garage. We informed the people we were buying from that they needed to clear the garbage out, and they agreed to. Annoyingly, when we took possession of the house the garbage was still there. We assumed they were coming back for it and did nothing; they never came back. Some months after we moved in my parents visited. When I was showing my mom the garage, I mentioned that the previous owners were supposed to have thrown the broken garage door opener out, but they didn't. Teasing me, my mother said with a smile: "well, are you keeping it so you can stay mad at them?"

Sometimes, I wonder how much we all let this happen with different things in our lives. We all have relationships in different capacities in our lives that can be damaging at times. These negative experiences can leave us hurt, cynical, angry, depressed, timid, without self-esteem, or without confidence. Naturally, some of these experiences can be much more difficult to overcome than it is to throw away an old garage door motor. Even so, my life is ultimately mine alone, and if I wait around for others to clean it up it will be dirtier than necessary.

I am grateful for the patterns of forgiving, forgetting, and moving forward in life that Christ offers us as part of His Gospel. In D&C 64:9-10, He commands us:

9 Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to ^aforgive one another; for he that ^bforgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin.

10 I, the Lord, will ^aforgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to ^bforgive all men.

I know that when I have attempted to forgive - especially when it is difficult - it has allowed the Lord to bless me with the ability to let go of old pains and avoid the trap of staying angry and hurt. It has helped me focus on achieving my own happiness. The next verse offers more insight:

11 And ye ought to say in your hearts—let God ^ajudge between me and thee, and ^breward thee according to thy ^cdeeds.

At times I think we all face the temptation to think that if we move on, we will someone let another off the hook for what they've done. In reality, the burden of justice is in almost all cases too heavy for us. We can find peace in living as best we can and leaving it to our Father in Heaven.